Sex Jokes - Viagra Jokes

A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandfather in the hospital.  "How are you grandpa?" he asks.  "Feeling fine," says the old man.  "What's the food like?"  "Terrific, wonderful menus."  "And the nursing?".  "Just couldn't be better. These young nurses really take care of you."  "What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?"  "No problem at all. Nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet, and that's it.  I go out like a light."  The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so rushes off to question the Sister in charge.

"What are you people doing," he says, "I'm told you're giving an 85-year-old a Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can't be true?"  Oh, yes," replies the Sister. "Every night at 10 o'clock we give him a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well. The hot chocolate makes him sleep, and the Viagra stops him from rolling out of bed!"

Q: What's it called when a chameleon can't change its colors anymore?

A: A reptile dysfunction.

I took one of those Viagra tablets the other day, it got stuck in my throat and I had a stiff neck for about eight hours!

Joe was sitting in his favorite bar having a few beers after work, when a beautiful woman sat down next to him. She looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't quite place her.

"Hi, Joe," she said. "I haven't seen you in a long time."

Joe was puzzled. "Charlie, is that you?" What are you doing dressed up like a woman?"

"Well, Joe. It's a long story, but the bottom line is that I always felt like a woman trapped in a man's body, so I finally decided to do something about it. After a number of operations, I am now a woman."

Joe was initially shocked, but after admiring Charlie's breasts, he said, "Damn, Charlie, I bet it was pretty painful to have those implants put in."

"Yeah, but that wasn't the most painful part."Joe's gaze lowered, and he got a sick feeling in his stomach.

"Oh shit. You mean you had your penis and testicles cut off? I bet that was awful."

"Yes, that was pretty painful, but that wasn't the worst part."

"I don't believe it, Charlie. What could possibly be worse than that?"

"The final operation was the worst. That was when they did a craniotomy and took out half of my brain!"

A lady walked into a pharmacy and spoke to the pharmacist. She asked, "Do you have Viagra?" "Yes," he answered. She asked, "Does it really work?" "Yes," he answered. "Can you get it over the counter?" she asked.

"I can if I take two," he answered.