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The best jokes and joke writers!

Breast Awareness

Perfect breasts (o)(o)

Fake silicone breasts ( + )( + )

Perky breasts (*)(*)

Big nipple breasts (@)(@)

A cups o o

D cups { O }{ O }

Wonder bra breasts (oYo)

Cold breasts ( ^ )( ^ )

Lopsided breasts (o)(O)

Pierced Breasts (Q)(O)

Hanging Tassels Breasts (p)(p)

Against The Shower Door Breasts ( )( )

Android Breasts | o | | o |

Martha Stewart's Breasts ($)($)

OK now that you have had your laugh, remember breast cancer awareness -- so have those boobs checked out and stay healthy...

Bad News

A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery. Mr. Schwartz had the longest private part he had ever seen! "I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz" said the mortician, "but I can't send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge private part like this. It has to be saved for posterity." With that, the mortician used his tools to remove the dead man's schlong. He stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed it to was his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said, and opened up his briefcase. "Oh my God!" she screamed. "Schwartz is dead!"

Deer Nuggets -Riddles

Q: Did you know deer nuggets are cheaper than chicken nuggets?

A: Chicken nuggets are $1.49, but deer nuggets are under a BUCK.

Little Johnny is Fascinated

A teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.

Mary said, "My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating." The teacher said, "That was good, Mary, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'"

Sally raised her hand and said, "My family went to the Philadelphia Zoo and saw the animals. I was fascinated." The teacher said, "Good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'"

Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because Johnny was notorious for his bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate," so she called on him. Johnny said loudly, "My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons." The teacher said, "That was good, Johnny. However, you did not use the word 'fascinate' in your sentence." Little Johnny continued, "But her boobs are so big, she can only fasten eight!"

Tattoo Parlor

A woman walks into a tattoo parlour and asks, "Do you do custom work?"

"Why of course!"

"Good. I'd like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of my right thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside of my left thigh."

"No problem," says the artist. "Strip from the waist down and get up on the table." After two hours of hard work, the artist finishes.

The woman sits up and examines the tattoos. "That doesn't look like them!" she complains loudly.

"Oh yes it does," the artist says indignantly, "and I can prove it." With that, he runs out of the shop and grabs the first man off the street he can find; it happens to be the town drunk.

"Well, what do you think?" the woman asks, spreading her legs. "Do you know who these men are?"

The drunk studies the tattoos for a couple of minutes and says. "I'm not sure who the guys on either side are, but the fellow in the middle is definately Willie Nelson!"