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Sex Jokes
Movie Love
My girlfriend told me "To make love to me like they do in the movies"
Long story short, I'm due in court soon. Guess we don't watch the same kind of movies.
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Sex Is A Killer
A guy went to his doctor full of anger. "Doc," he said, "I feel like killing my wife. You've got to help me. Please tell me what I should do." The doctor thought for a moment. "Look," he said, "Here are some pills. Take these twice a day and they'll allow you to keep an erection and have sex six time a day. If you do this for thirty days, you'll finally screw her to death. And the autopsy will just show that she died of heart failure during sex." "Wonderful, doc," said the grateful patient. "I'll start with this right away." He left with the bottle of pills and a smile on his face. Nearly a month passed. One day, while on a medical convention, the doctor passed by the patient coming down the sidewalk in a wheelchair, just barely managing to move forward. "What happened?" asked the doctor. "What happened to your wife?" "Don't worry, doc," the patient reassured him, "two more days and she'll be dead."
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Terrible Lover
The morning after their honeymoon night, a man and wife were discussing the previous evenings' events. The woman says, "You are a terrible lover!" The man replies, "How can you tell after only 30 seconds?!"
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