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The best jokes and joke writers!

Get Some of This

Two cowboys are out rounding up cattle when all of a sudden a heifer takes off and goes wild, the heifer runs into a fence and get's her head stuck. The two cowboys get over to the fence and the one says to the other, "This is too good to pass up," gets off his horse, unzips his pants and starts fucking the shit out of this heifer for at least ten minutes. When he finally finished he looked up to his partner and asked him if he wants some of it. His partner replied, "Hell yes, that looks pretty good," climbs down off his horse drops his pants and sticks his head in the fence.

Farmer Brown

Farmer Brown had been screwing one of his pigs for 5 years, when all of a sudden he was hit by pangs of conscience. It bothered him so much that he decided that he just had to tell his priest about it in confession. The priest was shocked and could only say to Farmer Brown, "Well, was the pig a male or a female?" "A female, of course," shouted Farmer Brown!. "What do you think I am...some sort of queer?"

Easter Bunny

Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?

A: Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing the chickens.

Birds and Bees

My young nephew Tommy asked me how babies are made. I had no idea how to approach it so I looked online and found a video that explains it all. At the end of the video I told him, "It's basically just like that, only the white goo on her face should have gone up her pussy and normally there isn't a horse involved."

Legion Camel #3

A new lieutenant in the French Foreign Legion arrives at an isolated base in Algeria. As a corporal shows him is quarters, he asks the corporal, "The base is rather isolated, what do the men do for female companionship?" The corporal replies, "On Fridays, they let us use the camels." The lieutenant can't believe it. On Friday, he stands around the camel pen to see what happens. Suddenly, he hears the camp bugler blow a charge on his horn. The ensuing chaos was amazing... men from all over the camp descended on the camel pens like Huns attacking a village. Out of the swarm of men, the lieutenant sees the same corporal he met on his first day. He grabs the man by the arm. The corporal shouts, "Let me go! Let me go!" "Good God man," said the lieutenant. There are 200 men here and 500 camels. What's your hurry?" The corporal replied, "I don't want to get stuck with an ugly one!"