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A Wish for Christmas
It is around Christmas time and Santa is sitting in the middle of the mall in his big holiday setup. He has a line of kids lined up to sit on his lap and tell him what they want for christmas. As the line dwindles down, a little 5 year old boy comes up and sits on Santa's lap. Santa says to the little boy, "I bet I know what you want for Christmas". "I bet you want a puppy, P-U-P-P-Y," touching the tip of the little boys nose with his finger after every letter of the word. The little boy responds, "Nope." So Santa again says, "Then I bet you want a bike, B-I-K-E," as he again touched the tip of the little boys nose with his finger. The little boy again said, "Nope." Well Santa's starting to get a little pissed off. So he thinks to himself that he'll try one more time. So he says to the little boy, "I bet you want a fire engine, F-I-R-E-E-N-G-I-N-E," once again touching the tip of the little boys nose with his finger after every letter of the word. Where to the little responds, "Nope." Well at this time Santa's really pissed off. So he says to the little boy, "Then what the fuck do you want for Christmas?" The little boy then looked at Santa and said, "I want some pussy, P-U-S-S-Y, and don't fucking tell me that you can't give me any because I can smell it on your finger!"
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ZipperGate Update
In a deal engineered by veteran mouthpieces Stein and Cacheris, Ms. Lewinsky has apparently headed off possible perjury charges by offering a full throated confession to Kenneth Starr. Sources, close to the investigation, report Starr is pumping Ms. Lewinsky for details concerning an oral pact with Mr. Clinton to withhold evidence. Although the independent prosecutor's team will drill Monica prior to her testimony, beltway observers do not anticipate a full dress rehearsal.
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Happy Baby
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the men's delight, she points out the happy child as theirs.
"Isn't it wonderful?" Brad exclaims. "All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy." "He's happy now," says the nurse. "But just wait until we take the pacifier out of his ass.''
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