God Sent Me

An atheist professor was teaching a college class at Alabama and he told the class that he was going to prove that there is no God. He said, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!" Ten minutes went by. He kept taunting God, saying, "Here I am, God. I'm still waiting." He got down to the last couple of minutes and a big 240 pound football player in the class walked up to the professor, hit him full force in the face, and sent him flying from his platform. The professor struggled up, obviously shaken and yelled, "What's the matter with you? Why did you do that?" The football player replied, "GOD WAS BUSY; HE SENT ME!"

Donald MacDonald From The Isle's

Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye (or maybe it was Neil McNell from Barra, but anyway..) went to study at an English university and was living in the hall of residence with all the other students there. After he had been there a month, his mother came to visit him (no doubt carrying reinforcements of tatties, salt herring, oatmeal and whisky). "And how do you find the English students, Donald?" she asked. "Mother," he replied, "they're such terrible, noisy people. The one on that side keeps banging his head on the wall and won't stop. The one on the other side screams and screams all night." "Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with these awful noisy English neighbors?" "Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly, playing my bagpipes."

Universal Grade Change Form

____________________UniversityTo: Professor____________________ From: __________________I think my grade in your course, ___________________, should be changed from ______ to _______ for the following reasons:______
1. The persons who copied my paper made a higher grade than I did.______
2. The person whose paper I copied made a higher grade than I did.______
3. This course will lower my Grade Point Average and I won't get into:______ Law School______Medical School ______Graduate School______Dental School ______My Fraternity/Sorority______The Mickey Mouse Club ______Tri County Tech______
4. I have to get an A in this course to balance the F in_______________.
5. I'll lose my scholarship.______
6. I'm on a varsity sports team and my tutor couldn't find a copy of your exam.______
7. I didn't come to class and the person whose notes I used did not cover the material asked for on the exam.______
8. I studied the basic principles and the exam wanted every little fact.______
9. I learned all the facts and definitions but your exams asked about general principles._____
10. You are prejudiced against:______Males ______Jews ______Blacks______Females ______Catholics ______Whites______Protestants ______Moslems ______Minorities______Chicanos ______People ______Students_____
11. If I flunk out of school my father will disinherit me or at least cut my allowance._____
12. I was unable to do well in this course because of the following illness:______mono______broken baby finger______acute alcoholism______pregnancy______VD______fatherhood_____
13. You told us to be creative but you didn't tell us exactly how you wanted that done._____
14. I was creative and you said I was just shooting the bull._____
15. I don't have a reason; I just want a higher grade._____
16. The lectures were:______too detailed to pick out important points______not explained in sufficient detail______too boring______all jokes and not enough material______all of the above_____
17. This course was:______too early, I was not awake.______at lunchtime, I was hungry______too late, I was tired_____
18. My (dog, cat, gerbil) (ate, wet on, threw up on) my (book, notes, paper) for this course._____
19. Other_____