School Jokes

Partial Deck

A girl comes home from school and tells her grandma that a boy at has asked her out for a date. This being her first date, her grandma gives her some rules. "If he tries to come near you or hug you, its fine. If he tries to kiss you, well thats fine too. But if he tries to lay you down and get on top of you, just push him and get out of there." The innocent girl was confused and asked, "Why grandma?" Grandma replied, "Because then he will disgrace our family." The girl having learned the lesson goes on her date. When she returns, her grandma asked her what happened. She replied, "Everything went well. First he hugged me, then kissed me. But then he tried to lay me down. So instead I got on top of him and disgraced his family."

Categories: School Jokes (High School Jokes) , Redneck Jokes (White Trash Jokes) , Sex Jokes (One Night Stand Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Daughter Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Grandmother Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Dating Jokes)
Anonymous

L. A. Math Proficiency Test

 The City of Los Angeles High School Math Proficiency Exam
Name:_______________________________ Gang:___________________________
1.Johnny has an AK-47 with an 80-round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive-by shooting, how many drive-by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload?
2.Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8-ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Billy for $85 per gram. What is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it?
3.Rufus is pimping for three girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800-per-day crack habit?
4.Jarome want to cut his 1/2 pound of heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will he need?
5.Willie gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy, and $100 for a 4X4. If he has stolen 2 BMWs, 3 4X4s, how many Chevies will he have to steal to make $800?
6.Raoul is in prison for 6 years for murder. He got $10,000 for the hit. If his common law wife is spending $425 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out of prison, and how many years is he likely to get for killing the bitch that spent his money?
7.If the average spray can covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with 3 cans of paint?
8.Hector knocked up 6 girls in his gang. There are 27 girls in the gang. What percentage of the girls in the gang has Hector knocked up?
9.Thelma can cook dinner for her 16 children for $7.50 per night. She gets $234 a month welfare for each child. If her $325 per month rent goes up 15%, how many more children should she have to keep up with her expenses?
10.Salvador was arrested for dealing crack & his bail was set at $25,000. If he pays a bail bondsman 12% and returns to Mexico, how much money will he lose by jumping bail?

Categories: Racist Jokes (Black Jokes) , Racist Jokes (Hispanic Jokes) , School Jokes (High School Jokes) , U.S. State Jokes (California Jokes)
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Anonymous

Sex Ed

My teenage daughter came home in a rage. "I just had sex education class in school today, Dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend will die!" I put down my paper and said, "Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."

Categories: Jokes about Families (Father Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Daughter Jokes) , Sex Jokes , School Jokes (High School Jokes)
Anonymous