Q: What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon?
A: A sour puss.
Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A: Because all those men already have boyfriends.
Wife vs Job
Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After five years your job will still suck.
Q: Will glass coffins be a success?
A: Remains to be seen.
Q: What's black and doesn't work?
A: Decaf coffee, you racist bastard!