Q: Did you hear about the new German microwave oven?
A: It seats 500.
Jewish Boy asks for Money
A Jewish boy asks his father for $50. The father replies, "$40, what do you need $30 for?"
A Jew and a Canoe
Q: What is the difference between a jew and a canoe?
A: A canoe tips
Work or Play?
A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a priest and asks for his opinion on this question. After consulting the Bible, the priest says, " My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on Sundays." The man thinks, " What does a priest know about sex?" So he goes to a minister, who after all is a married man and experienced in this matter. He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and therefore not for the Sabbath! Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority: a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge. In other words, he goes to a rabbi. The Rabbi ponders the question, then states, " My son, sex is definitely play." The man replies, "Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?" The Rabbi softly speaks, "If sex were work, my wife would have the maid do it."
A whole gaggle of Jewish ladies at a party were discussing the problem of one of their daughters, who looked very much as though she were planning to marry a gentile boy. Everyone was disturbed about it, and I could not help interrupting. "Why not?" said I, "let her marry a gentile boy. I'm all in favor of Jewish girls marrying gentile boys." "Why?" chorused the women. And I said, "Because why should the Jewish boys have all the bad luck?"