Religion Jokes - Jewish Jokes

Holy Men & A Lawyer

A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said, "There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep, one of you must sleep in the barn." "No problem," spoke the Rabbi. "My people wandered in the desert for forty years. I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for an evening." With that he departed to the barn and the others bedded down for the night. Moments later a knock was heard at the door. The farmer opened the door,and there stood the Rabbi from the barn. "What's wrong?" asked the farmer.He replied, "I am grateful to you, but I can't sleep in the barn. There is a pig in the barn and my faith believes that is an unclean animal." His Hindu friend agreed to swap places with him. But a few minutes later the same scene occurs. There is a knock on the door. "What's wrong, now?" the farmer asked. The Hindu holy man replies, "I too am grateful for your helping us out, but there is a cow in the barn and in my country cows are considered sacred. I can't sleep on holy ground!" That leaves only the lawyer to make the change. He grumbled and complained, but went out to the barn. Moments later there was another knock on the farmer's door. Frustrated and tired, the farmer opened the door, and there stood the pig and the cow.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Jewish Female President

The first Jewish woman President is elected. She calls her Mother: "Mama, I've won the elections, you've got to come to the swearing- in ceremony." "I don't know, what would I wear?" "Don't worry, I'll send you a dressmaker" "But I only eat kosher food" "Mama, I am going to be the president, I can get you kosher food" "But how will I get there?" "I'll send a limo, just come mama" "Ok, Ok, if it makes you happy. The great day comes and Mama is seated between the Supreme Court Justices and the Future Cabinet members, she nudges the gentleman on her right. "You see that girl, the one with her hand on the Bible?"... "Her brother's a doctor!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous