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The best jokes and joke writers!

10 Catholic Priests?

One day there were 10 would-be Catholic priests, going through the tests that would make them ministers. The final test required them to all strip butt-naked and stand in a row with little bells attached to their ding-dongs, facing a beautiful naked woman. Well, lo and behold one of the bells went off, but when it did, it fell to the ground. As soon as its owner bent over to pick it up, all the 9 remaining bells sounded at once. Yup. Nine more ordained priests added to the Catholic Church.

Pope Lunch

Q: What did the Pope say before eating his salad?

A: "Lettuce pray"

Biblical One-liners

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married? A. Ruthless

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany? A. German Shepherds.

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. What was the greatest female financier in the Bible? A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden? A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?

A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy? A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

Q. Who is the greatest baby-sitter mentioned in the Bible? A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Q. Which Bible character had no parents? A. Joshua, son of Nun.

Lunch Menu

Q: What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary's ear?

A: He had his first taste of Christianity!

Holy Spirit

There was a boy riding on his bike outside a church. The priest saw him and told him to come into the church and the boy said, "... But they'll steal my bike." The priest explained how the Holy Spirit would take care of it, so they went inside. The priest showed the boy how to make the sign of the cross and told the boy to repeat it... "In the name of the Father, The Son... Amen" The priest said ,"What about the Holy Spirit?" The boy replied, "It's outside taking care of my bike!"