Q: What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary's ear?
A: He had his first taste of Christianity!
There was a boy riding on his bike outside a church. The priest saw him and told him to come into the church and the boy said, "... But they'll steal my bike." The priest explained how the Holy Spirit would take care of it, so they went inside. The priest showed the boy how to make the sign of the cross and told the boy to repeat it... "In the name of the Father, The Son... Amen" The priest said ,"What about the Holy Spirit?" The boy replied, "It's outside taking care of my bike!"
Q: What language do the Vatican Police speak?
A: Pig Latin!
Real V Fake
Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
Rules of Belfast
Liam had left Dublin to go up to Belfast for a bit of skydiving. Late Sunday evening, he was found in tree by a farmer. "What happened," asked the farmer. Liam replied that his parachute failed to open. "Well," said the farmer, "if you had of asked the locals before you jumped, they would have told you that nothing opens here on a Sunday."