Sleepwalking Nun

Q: What do you call a nun that sleepwalks?
A: A Roman Catholic!!

The Blonde Nun

One night a Blond Nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her. "My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish." "Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Christ. I am doing what I love. I lack for nothing material since the Church supports me. I am content in all ways." "There must be something you would have of me," said God. "Well, there is one thing," she said. "Just name it," said God. "It's those blond jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere, not just to me. I would like for blond jokes to stop." "Consider it done," said God. "Blond jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans. But surely there is something that I could do just for you." "There is one thing. But it's really small, and not worth your time," said the nun. "Name it. Please," said God. "It's the M&M's," said the nun. "They're so hard to peel!"

Black Friday Line Talk

A Catholic, a Baptist and a Mormon are waiting to check-out in a long Black Friday line and begin bragging about the size of their families. "I have four boys and my wife is expecting another," says the Catholic. "One more son, and I'll have a basketball team." "That's nothing," says the Baptist. "I have 10 boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another child. One more son, and I'll have a football team." "That's nothing," says the Mormon. "I have 17 wives. One more wife, and I'll have a golf course."