Religion Jokes - Catholic Jokes

Lemon Pennance

A guy goes into the church confessional and says, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I slept with five different women last night.” The priest says, “Go home, squeeze five lemons into a glass, and drink it all as fast as you can.” “And I will be forgiven?” asks the man. “No,” the priest says, “but it will wipe that smirk off your face.”

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Relationship Jokes (Dating Jokes) , Sex Jokes (One Night Stand Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Catholic Jokes)
Anonymous

Jesus Has Risen

Easter is approaching. Father O'Maley checks estimates for the flower decoration of the altar. The catholic florist charges $300. "Too expensive" moans the priest. The protestant florist charged $250, "No, it would not be right to buy at another Christian believer, especially as the price difference is rather small." However, Solly Goldberg charges $75! Religion or economics? After much consideration, Solly obtains the contract. On Easter Sunday morning, Goldberg's men deliver the flowers: wonderful roses, azaleas, camellias, tulips and carnations. O'Maley's last reservations are discarded. When the parishioners arrive in the church, they see the magnificent flower arrangement and a ribbon with the inscription: "Jesus has risen! But the prices of Goldberg always stay the same."

Categories: Religion Jokes (Catholic Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Jewish Jokes) , Money Jokes , Word Play Jokes , Holiday Jokes (Easter Jokes)
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Anonymous

Mardis Gras has Ended

Mardis Gras is over...
so get your ash to church!

Categories: Religion Jokes (Catholic Jokes) , Word Play Jokes , Holiday Jokes (Easter Jokes)
Anonymous