Religion Jokes

Pope Lunch

Q: What did the Pope say before eating his salad?
A: "Lettuce pray"

Anonymous

An Email From God!

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the evil that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out. So he called on a female angel and sent her to Earth for a time. When she returned she told God, "Yes it is bad on Earth, 95% is bad and 5% is good." Well, he thought for a moment and said "Maybe I had better send down a male angel; to get both points of view." So God called a male angel and sent him to Earth for a time. When the male angel returned he went to God and told him "Yes, the Earth was in decline, 95% was bad and 5% was good." God said this was not good. He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good and encourage them a little, something to help them keep going. Do you know what that E-mail said?... Oh! You didn't get one either huh?

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Biblical One-liners

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married? A. Ruthless
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany? A. German Shepherds.
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q. What was the greatest female financier in the Bible? A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A. Samson. He brought the house down.
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden? A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy? A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.
Q. Who is the greatest baby-sitter mentioned in the Bible? A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
Q. Which Bible character had no parents? A. Joshua, son of Nun.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous