Relationship Jokes - Man Criticizes Woman

"I was married 3 times" explained the man to a newly discovered drinking partner, " and I'll never marry again. My first 2 wives died of eating poison mushrooms and my 3rd wife died of a fractured skull." "That's a shame." said his friend , "How did it happen?" "She wouldn't eat the fucking mushrooms!"

Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house.

Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

A: The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!

An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary. "Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig." The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."

Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.