Relationship Jokes

The Chase

A guy was driving his car at 80 mph when he saw the flashing red and blue lights. Thinking that the cop might not be able to catch him, he accelerated to 110 mph.
He finally came to some sense and pulled over to the side. The cop stepped out, took his license and examined it without a word. He looked at the driver and said, "I've had a tough shift and this is my last pullover. I don't feel like doing anymore paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go!"
The driver blinked only once while his brain scramble for a reply. "Last week my wife ran off with a cop, " he said, " and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"
"Off you go," said the officer.

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Divorce Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Police Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Small Penis

This couple has been dating for about four months, but the guy had been afraid of making any sexual advances because of his tiny organ. Finally, he gets up his courage and takes her to a secluded spot in his car. While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand onto his penis. "No thanks," the girl says. "You know I don't smoke."

Categories: Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Sex Jokes (Denied Sex Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Dating Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Marriage Advice

My marriage counselor said, "When your wife annoys you, go to your happy place." I replied, "That'll make things worse. She hates when I go to the bar."

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , One-Liner Jokes , Bar Jokes
Copyright © 2015 - Kiel Phillips - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Written By: KielPhillips