Baby Hermaphrodite

A woman gives birth to a baby and afterward the doctor comes into the room and says, "I have something to tell you about your child.." The woman slowly sits up with a worried look on her face and says, "What's wrong with it?" The doctor says, "There's nothing really wrong with it, it's just a little different!  It's a hermaphrodite." The woman looks confused. "A hermaphrodite, what's that?" The doctor replies, "It has both features of a male and a female." The woman looks relieved. "What? You mean it has a penis AND a brain?"

Older Men

An old guy was in Costco the other day, pushing his shopping cart around when he collided with a young guy who was also pushing a cart. He said to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The young guy says,  "That's OK. It's just a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate." The old guy said, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"
The young guy says, " Well, she is 24 years old, tall, with long blond hair, green eyes, long legs, big boobs and she's wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra.
What does your wife look like?" The old guy said, "Doesn't matter. Let's look for yours." Most older men are helpful like that.

Grandma's Condition

Q: What's that wrinkly thing on Grandma?
A: Grandpa.