Relationship Jokes

Crafty Mom

John invited his mother over for dinner one evening. During the meal, she couldn't help but notice how attractive his roommate Judy was. She had been suspicious of a relationship between her son and his roommate for quite some time, but this only made her more curious. She watched the two of them interact over the course of the evening and began to wonder whether there was more between John and Judy than met the eye. Realizing only too well what his mother was thinking, John said, "I can see your wheels turning Mom and I know what you're thinking. Rest assured Judy and I are strictly roommates." A few days later, Judy went to John and said, "You know the beautiful silver gravy ladle? Well, ever since your mother came to dinner I can't seem to find it. You don't think she would have taken it, do you?" "I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure," replied John. John then sat down and wrote his mother the following letter: "Dear Mom, While I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'didn't' take a gravy ladle, the fact remains that ever since you were here for dinner one has been missing. Love, Your son." Several days later, John received a reply from his mother which read: "Dear John, While I am not saying you 'do' sleep with Judy, and I'm not saying you 'don't' sleep with her, the fact remains that she would have found the gravy ladle by now if she were sleeping in her own bed. Love, Mom."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Spot Seems Depressed

Jason gets off the elevator on the 50th floor and nervously knocks on his blind date's door. She opens it and is very beautiful and charming. "I'll be ready in a few minutes," she says. "Why don't you play with Spot, my dog, while you're waiting? He does wonderful tricks. He rolls over, shakes hands, sits up, and if you make a hoop with your arms, he'll jump through." The dog follows Jason onto the balcony and starts rolling over. Jason makes a hoop with his arms and Spot jumps through, over the balcony railing. Just then, Jason's date walks out. "Isn't Spot the cutest, happiest dog you've ever seen?" "To tell the the truth, " he replies, "Spot seemed a little depressed to me!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Submitted BY: TerrellMoses

Cold in Boston

I just got off the phone with a friend who lives in Massachusetts.  He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling.  The temperature is -32 and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. The wind chill is -59.  His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare.
He told me that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in!

Submitted BY: Richard Koenders