Cold in Boston

I just got off the phone with a friend who lives in Massachusetts.  He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling.  The temperature is -32 and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. The wind chill is -59.  His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare.
He told me that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in!

Memories

An old man is sitting on the park bench crying. Another old man sits down next to him and says, "Hey buddy, what's the problem?"
The old man wipes the tears from his eyes and explains, "I've got this beautiful, 35 year old wife, and all she wants to do is make love from the moment I walk in the door till the moment we go to sleep and then when we wake up again."
"So, what the hell is the problem?"
"You don't understand... I forgot where I live!" 

Large Vision

My girlfriend told me my penis was huge. I'd have appreciated the compliment if she hadn't been looking through a magnifying glass at the time.