We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Bill Clinton's Decision

Q: Why did Bill Clinton have such a hard time deciding what to do with Elian Gonzalez?

A: The last time he decided where to put a Cuban he was almost impeached.

Only Three Things

President Biden only lacks three things to become one of America's finest leaders: integrity, vision, and wisdom.

Clinton's Wish!

Bill Clinton was walking along the beach when he stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and lo-and-behold a real Genie appeared. Bill was amazed and asked if he got three wishes. The Genie said, "Nope...not these days...I'm only giving out 1 wish because of inflation. So...what'll be?" Bill didn't hesitate. He said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other." The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Are you crazy! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good but I'm not THAT good. I don't think it can be done. So make another wish." Bill thought for a minute and said, "You know, people really don't like my wife. They think she's a real witch and ugly as sin. I wish for her to be the most beautiful woman in the world and I want everybody to like her. That's what I want!" The Genie thought for a minute and said, "Hmmmmm. Lemme see that map again."

Bill's Choice

With the election coming close, I trust Bill Clinton the most.

He always picked someone other than Hillary, so I will too.

Meet the Parents

A young woman brought her new fiance home to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother told the girl's father to find out about the young man. The father invited the fiance to his study for a talk.

"So, what are your plans?" the father asked the young man.

"I am a biblical scholar," he replied. "A biblical scholar, hmmm?" the father said. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in?"

"I will study," the young man replied, "and God will provide for us." "And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asked the father.

"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replied, "God will provide for us." "And children?" asked the father. "How will you support children?"

"Don't worry, sir; God will provide," replied the fiance. The conversation proceeded like this . . . and each time the father questioned, the young idealist insisted that God would provide.

Later, the mother asked, "How did your talk go, honey?" The father answered, "He's a Democrat. He has no job, he has no plans, and he thinks I'm God."