The other day, I was walking through the mall and noticed that a new "Muslim Book Store" had opened. I wondered exactly what was in a Muslim bookstore so I went in. As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk stopped me and asked if he could help me. I imagine I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I asked, “Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on his U.S. Immigration Policy regarding Muslims and illegal Mexicans?" The clerk said, "Fuck off! Get out and Stay out!"
I said, "Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?"
Einstein, Picasso, George W. Bush to Heaven
When Einstein died and arrived at the gates of heaven, St. Peter wouldn't let him in until he proved his identity. Einstein scribbled out a couple of his equations, and was admitted into paradise.
And when Picasso died, St. Peter asked, "How do I know you're Picasso?" Picasso sketched out a couple of his masterpieces. St. Peter was convinced and let him in. When George W. Bush died, he went to heaven and met the man at the gates. "How can you prove to me you're George W. Bush?" Saint Peter said. Bush replied, "Well heck, I dont know." St. Peter says, "Well, Albert Einstein showed me his equations and Picasso drew his famous pictures. What can you do to prove you're George W. Bush?" Bush replies, "Who are Albert Einstein and Picasso?"
St. Peter says, "It must be you, George, c'mon on in."
Q: Is Exxon Mobile rstructuring their workforce because of $30 oil?
A: Yes, they had to lay off 25 Congressmen!
Q: How is Donald Trump going to get rid of all the illegal Mexicans?
A: Juan by Juan.
Q: What proof is there that Donald Trump is racist and sexist?
A: He beat a woman badly in his run for the presidency and threw a black family out of a white house.