What do you call a prostitute who prefers the British pound as primary payment method?
A quid pro ho.
Q: How is Donald Trump going to get rid of all the illegal Mexicans?
A: Juan by Juan.
Q: What proof is there that Donald Trump is racist and sexist?
A: He beat a woman badly in his run for the presidency and threw a black family out of a white house.
The other day, I was walking through the mall and noticed that a new Muslim bookstore had opened. I wondered exactly what was in a Muslim bookstore so I went in. As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk stopped me and asked if he could help me. I imagine I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I asked, “Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on his U.S. Immigration Policy regarding Muslims and illegal Mexicans?" The clerk said, "Fuck off! Get out and Stay out!"
I said, "Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?"
Q: Is Exxon Mobile rstructuring their workforce because of $30 oil?
A: Yes, they had to lay off 25 Congressmen!