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The best jokes and joke writers!

Bill Clinton and Al Gore Go Into A Local Diner for Lunch

Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch. As they read the menu the waitress comes over and askes Clinton, "Are you ready to order?" Clinton replies, "Yes, I'd like a quickie." "A quickie?!?" the waitress replies. "Sir, given the current situation of your personal life I don't think that is a good idea.I'll come back when you are ready to order from the menu. "She walks away. Gore leans over to Clinton and says, "It's pronounced Quiche."

Trump Strategy

Q: How is Donald Trump going to get rid of all the illegal Mexicans?

A: Juan by Juan.

Trump Busted

Q: What proof is there that Donald Trump is racist and sexist?

A: He beat a woman badly in his run for the presidency and threw a black family out of a white house.

Muslim Bookstore

The other day, I was walking through the mall and noticed that a new "Muslim Book Store" had opened. I wondered exactly what was in a Muslim bookstore so I went in. As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk stopped me and asked if he could help me. I imagine I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I asked, “Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on his U.S. Immigration Policy regarding Muslims and illegal Mexicans?" The clerk said, "Fuck off!  Get out and Stay out!"

I said, "Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?"

Exxon Mobil

Q: Is Exxon Mobile rstructuring their workforce because of $30 oil?

A: Yes, they had to lay off 25 Congressmen!