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The best jokes and joke writers!

Honesty in the White House

Q: What do you call someone in the White House who is honest, ethical, intellectual, law abiding, and truthful?

A: A tourist.

7 Quickies!

1) On July 8, 1947, witnesses claim a spaceship with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep-and-cattle ranch outside Roswell, NM, an incident they say has been covered up by the military. On March 31, 1948, exactly nine months after that day, Al Gore was born. That clears up a lot of things.

2) What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

3) I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me -- they were cramming for their finals!

4) If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?

5) If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

6) I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?

7) Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

The difference between the government and the Mafia?

Q: What is the difference between the government and the Mafia?

A: One of them is organized.

Monica Lewinsky's Dress

Q: What Monica Lewinsky's mother said when she brought home her dress?

A: Doesn't the White House have any club soda?

Monica Lewinsky and Bill

Q: What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?

A: 1 U.S. leader!