Bill Clinton at his best

When "Air Force One" prepares to land, the captain speaks over the intercom: "The seatbelt sign is on Mr. President, would you please put the stewardess in the upright position."

Clinton Intern Guidance

Q:  What does Clinton say to interns as they leave his office?
A: "Don't hit your head on the desk."

AOC in Hell

After ruining NY by driving away 25,000 great paying jobs, AOC was booted out of Congress. Depressed and suicidal, she jumps off a bridge, dies and went to hell. When she got there, she saw one sign that said Capitalist Hell, and another that said Socialist Hell. In front of the Socialist Hell was an incredibly long line, but there was no one in front of the Capitalist Hell.  So the AOC asked the guard, "What do they do to you in Socialist Hell?"  "They boil you in oil, whip you, and then put you on the rack," the guard replied.  "And what do they do to you in Capitalist Hell?"  "The same exact thing," the guard answered. "Then why is everybody in line for Socialist Hell?"  "Because in Socialist Hell, they're always out of oil, whips, and racks!"