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The best jokes and joke writers!

Put Something In It

Little Susie, a six-year-old, complained, "Mother, I've got a stomach ache." "That's because your stomach is empty," the mother replied. "You would feel better if you had something in it." That afternoon, her father came complaining that he had a severe headache all day. Susie perked up, "That's because it's empty," she said. "You'd feel better if you had something in it."

Little Johnny Catching Parents

Just as mom walks though the door, little Johnny comes running over. He says ''Mommy, Mommy. I was playing in daddy's closet and he came in with the lady next door and they started kissing and then they took off each others clothes and laid down on the bed...'" The mother interrupts him. ''Stop right there!! Wait 'till daddy comes home!!'' When the father finally returns from work, mother promptly goes up to him and says ''I'm leaving you.''
The father, bewildered, slowly asks ''Why!?! What did I do??''
The mother turns to Johnny and says, ''Tell daddy exactly what you told me today!'' ''I was playing in daddy's closet and he came in with the lady next door and they started kissing and then they took each other's clothes off and laid down on the bed... just like what you and Uncle Joe did last summer.''

Stepped On

Teacher: Let's take the example of the busy ant. He is busy all the time, works all day and every day. Then what happens?
Little Johnny : " He gets stepped on."

Sex Education

One day in class the teacher has sex education. On the black board she draws a penis then asks the class if any of them knows what it is. In the back of the room, Dirty Johnny stands and says "That's a penis, and my father has two of them."

The teacher looks surprised and asks, "What do you mean, two?"

Dirty Johnny responds, "A little one to pee, and a big one to brush the baby sitter's teeth."

Punctuation Options

A teacher said to her little student Suzie, "Punctuate the following sentence: Fun fun fun worry worry worry."

Little Suzie thought for a moment and began her reply, "Let's see. Fun, period, fun, period, fun, no period, worry worry worry!"