Father Sets The Bar

A father and son were on a fishing trip when the dad pulled out a beer. "Can I have one, Dad?" "Can your d**k touch your a**hole?" "No." "Then you can't have one." The dad took out a cigarette. "Dad, since I can't drink, can I smoke one?" "Can your d**k touch your a**hole?" "No." "Then you can't have one." On the way back, the dad bought two lottery tickets, one for his son and one for him. The dad won two dollars and the son won $500. The dad was surprised and a bit jealous. "You're going to share that with me, aren't you, son?" "Can your d**k touch your a**hole?" "Yes." "Then go f**k yourself."

Just Like Dad

The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

Poker

One night a boy wakes up and goes into his parents room and they're having sex. He asks what they're doing and the father says "we're playing poker" and the mother says "And I'm his partner." He then goes into his grandparents room and asks what they're doing. The grandfather says "We're playing poker" and the grandmother says "and I'm his partner." He then goes into his brothers room and he's wanking. He asks what he's doing. The brother says "I'm playing poker." The other brother asks why he doesn't have a partner and the brother replies, "You don't need a partner if you have a good hand!"