Jokes about Families

Partial Deck

A girl comes home from school and tells her grandma that a boy at has asked her out for a date. This being her first date, her grandma gives her some rules. "If he tries to come near you or hug you, its fine. If he tries to kiss you, well thats fine too. But if he tries to lay you down and get on top of you, just push him and get out of there." The innocent girl was confused and asked, "Why grandma?" Grandma replied, "Because then he will disgrace our family." The girl having learned the lesson goes on her date. When she returns, her grandma asked her what happened. She replied, "Everything went well. First he hugged me, then kissed me. But then he tried to lay me down. So instead I got on top of him and disgraced his family."

Categories: School Jokes (High School Jokes) , Redneck Jokes (White Trash Jokes) , Sex Jokes (One Night Stand Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Daughter Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Grandmother Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Dating Jokes)
Anonymous

Paying Bills

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"
"Only one kiss per yard, " replied the smirking male clerk.
"That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards."
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. "Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled.

Categories: Money Jokes (Money Owed Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Grandfather Jokes)
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Anonymous

Mom's Predictions

Q: Can your mother predict the future with cards?
A: Yes! She takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home.

Categories: Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Father Jokes) , School Jokes (Elementary School Jokes) , Riddles (Riddles for Kids)
Anonymous