For The Holidays

Let's name your legs. The right one is Thanksgiving and the left one is Christmas. Can I come between the holidays?

Red Silk Panties

After a few casual dates with one of his coworkers a young man decided to heat things up by having a pair of bright red silk panties delivered to her on the morning of Valentine's Day.  Anxious to find out what she thought of them, he met her that afternoon of at a local pub. Seeing her enter the establishment wearing a mini dress and high heels with gleeful smile across her face, his heart began to race. " Did you like the red silk panties I sent you for Valentine's Day," he asked anxiously? " Yes," she exclaimed with a squeal. "I couldn't wait to put them on." " Are you wearing them now," he asked almost swallowing his Adam's apple? Suddenly her once ecstatic face was replaced by a look of disturbed confusion. "Damn," she said, "I must have left them at my boyfriend's place." 

Kids Learn Fast

Mr. Smith took his four-year-old son, Bryan, to several baseball games where "The Star-Spangled Banner" was sung before the start of each game.
Several days later,  the Smith family attended St Bartholomew's church on the Sunday before Independence Day.  The congregation sang The Star-Spangled Banner, and after everyone sat down, Bryan suddenly stood up and  yelled out at the top of his voice, 'Play ball.'