Holiday Jokes

HUGE Collection of Holiday Jokes! ROFL with April Fool's Day, Halloween, St. Patrick's Day, Christmas, Easter, more. Crack yourself up with funny holiday jokes.

Holloween

Q: Why can't a ghost have sex??
A: Because he has a hollow weenie!

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Determination

Two 5 year old black kids (boy and girl) went out trick or treating in a rich Texas suburb. The other kids said this Texas Oil Billionaire was giving out iPods. So they knocked on this guys door and said trick or treat. The guy said, "What are you dressed as?" The little girl said, "Jack 'n Jill." The guy said, "You cant be Jack 'n Jill, you're black." So the kids left and came back and the guy said, "And what are you guys supposed to be this time?" The little girl said, "Hansel 'n Gretel." The guy says, "You can't be Hansel 'n Gretel, you're black." So the kids leave upset only to come back a few minutes later. This time they were naked. The guys says, "And just what are you supposed to be now?" The little girl says, "M&M’s, I’m plain and he got nuts"

Anonymous

Christmas Pageant

Two daughters had been given parts in a Christmas pageant at their Church. At dinner that night, they got into an argument as to who had the most important role.  Finally the 14 year old said to her 8 year old younger sister, "Well, you just ask Mom. She'll tell you it's much harder to be a virgin than it is to be an angel!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous