Christmas Party

On the night of the school Christmas party, a boy's girlfriend is changing upstairs. The boyfriend is waiting in the living room with the girlfriend's grandpa and her dog, Rover. As the girlfriend is getting ready the boyfriend says to himself, ''Man I really gotta fart, I think I will let a little out.'' So he does and the grandpa yells ''ROVER!'' The boy thinks to himself, ''All right, now he thinks it's the dog. I think I will let a little more out.'' So he does and the grandpa yells again, ''ROVER!'' The boyfriend says to himself, ''All right, now he really thinks it's the dog. I think I will let the rest out.'' So he lets it rip and the grandpa yells, ''Rover, get over here before that guy poops on you!''

No Santa Babies

Q: Why doesn't Santa Claus have any kids?
A: Cause he only comes once a year!

Christmas Bet

Joe and Tom went to a bar after a company Christmas party. After several hours of drinking, Joe said he'd give Tom $20 if he'd take one sip out of a large spittoon at the end of the bar.
Tom: "No way, man. That's disgusting!" Joe: "What if I offered you $50, then would you do it? Just one sip??" Tom: "Uh. No. Even for $50, that's just too gross!" Joe: "Well…what if I offered you $100? C'mon…it's just one sip!" Tom: "Well…I guess it won't kill me and I really can't turn down that offer. I could use the extra cash for Christmas."
So…Tom picks up the spittoon to take a sip and keeps on drinking from it…glug…glug…glug…
At this point, Joe is repulsed and says to Tom: "Alright, already! STOP! You're grossing me out. You only had to take ONE sip!!"
Tom promptly empties the spittoon, puts it back on the bar, wipes off his mouth and sits down next to Joe.
Joe: "Why did you do that??? That's was SO disgusting!! The bet was for you to take ONE sip and you drank the whole damn thing, I think I'm gong to puke!"…to which Tom replied: "I couldn't stop. It was all one piece."