New Hampshire Crazy Law

• It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.
• It is considered an offense to check into a hotel under an assumed name.
• Any cattle that crosses state roads must be fitted with a device to gather its feces.
• You cannot sell the clothes you are wearing to pay off a gambling debt.
• You may not run machinery on Sundays.
• You may not tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.
• On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.
• If a person is caught raking the beaches, picking up litter, hauling away trash, building a bench for the park, or many other kind things without a permit, he/she may be fined $150 for ''maintaining the national forest without a permit''.

Fishy Advice

A four winged flying horse fish told me I should stop taking drugs if I want to keep my job in animal genetics.

A No-Frills Airline

You'll Know It's a No-Frills Airline If:

• They don't sell tickets, they sell chances.
• All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.
• Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.
• If you kiss the wing for luck before boarding, it kisses you back.
• You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.
• Before you took off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.
• The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.
• When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.
• The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.
• You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he says, "Just once."
• No movie. Don't need one.
• Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.
• You see a man with a gun, but he's demanding to be let off the plane.
• All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.