Opposites

If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of progress?

Destination Unknown

A passenger piled his luggage on the scale at an airline counter in New York and said to the ticket agent: I'm flying to Los Angeles.  I want the large bag sent to Denver and the two small ones to Cincinnati."  "I'm sorry sir, but we can't do that," said the ticket agent. "That's good to hear because that's where they ended up the last time I flew this route."

Cold Class

Q: What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
A: Snow and Tell.