Rudolph And Olive

The game show contestant was only 200 points behind the leader and was about to answer the final question. "To be today's champion," the show's smiling host intoned, "name two of Santa's reindeer." The contestant, gave a sigh of relief, gratified that he had drawn such an easy question. "Rudolph!" he said confidently, "and ... Olive!" The confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain 'Olive'?" "You know, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."

Ode To The Government

I've fucked in the sun, I've fucked in the rain. I've fucked before, and I'll fuck again. But I'll never be happy, I'll never be free, 'til I've fucked the Government like the Government's fucked me!

Boomerang

ME: I'd like to return a defective boomerang
SHOPKEEPER: Ok. Where is it?
ME: I have no idea