You Know You're Fat

You know you're getting fat when you say you're fat in front of your friends and nobody corrects you.

Lincoln JFK Coincidences

• Lincoln and JFK started politics 100 years apart.
• Lincoln and JFK were elected to office 100 years apart.
• Lincoln and JFKs' vice president's had the last name Johnson.
• Lincoln and JFK have 7 letters in their last name.
• Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy and Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln.
• Here's the BIG ONE: Lincoln, a week before his death, was in Monroe, Maryland. Kennedy, a week before his death, was in Marilyn Monroe!

Pet Salamander

Friend: What an interesting pet. What is his name?
Owner: Tiny
Friend: What an odd name. Why do you call him Tiny?
Owner: Because he's my newt.