Funny Thoughts

Vampire Junkie

Q: What do you call a vampire junkie?
A: Count Drugula!

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Drug Jokes , Riddles , Word Play Jokes
Anonymous

Stumbling and Mumbling

A drunk stumbles out of a bar one night and passes a woman walking her dog. The man stops her and asks, "Hey where'd ya get the pig?" The woman replies, "Listen you drunken bastard, that's a dog not a pig." The man then said, "Take it easy, I was talking to the dog"

Categories: Animal Jokes (Dog Jokes) , Appearance Jokes (Ugly Jokes) , Funny Thoughts , Insult Jokes (Fat Insult Jokes) , Insult Jokes (Ugly Insult Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Appearance Jokes (Fat Jokes)
Anonymous

Custer's Last Thoughts

The curator of an art gallery asked an artist for a painting depicting General Custer's last thoughts. Two weeks later, the artist unveiled the painting, an enormous canvas with a lovely blue lake painted in its center, with a fish leaping from the water with a shining halo around its head. On the shores of the lake were the most detailed pictures of Indians fornicating. After gazing at the painting for some time, the enraged curator demanded to know what the theme was supposed to be. The artist said, "You asked for a painting of Custer's last thoughts," he explained. "That's it. Custer was thinking, 'Holy mackerel, where did all those fucking Indians come from?'"

Categories: Art & Music Jokes (Painter Jokes) , Funny Thoughts , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Native American Jokes) , Word Play Jokes
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Anonymous