Nine Out of Ten

Q: What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
A: Gang rape.

Women and Men, Wine and Grapes

Men are like a fine grape:

• They are best kept in the dark.
• They can't handle too much heat.
• They perform best when they are stepped on.

 
Women are like the wine that comes from the grape:

• They are sweet, vigorous, and full-bodied when they are young.
• They don't age well without preservatives.
• They become sour and vinegary if they remain bottled up.

Smart Alec

A stoner stumbles out of a party, and starts to walk home.
One the way he bumps into a guy who is all bloody and mangled. The guy limps up to the stoner and says "Call me an ambulance!" The stoner looks at him for a second, smiles and says, "You're an ambulance!"