Good News, Bad News, Worse News
Good News: Your son's finally maturing.
Bad News: He's involved with the woman next door.
Worse News: So are you.
A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon. The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?" The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?" The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time, dude... God is missing -- and they think WE did it!"
I fondly remember our childhood when Dad used to roll us down the hill in a tire.
Those were the Good Years.
We took my grandson Alex to the local mall shopping one day, and used a 'kiddy harness' to keep track of him, since he's an active little dickens and loves to walk and explore. As we stood watching the marvel of the escalator, a teenager headed up the stairs and said, quite loudly, "Look at that kid, he looks like a little dog on a leash." Alex promptly looked at him and said, "Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!"
Little boy came into the kitchen and declared, "Mom, now I know why girls don't have willys! They fall off, and I found yours under your pillow."