Yo Momma is so Fat..

Your momma is so fat, she was swimming in the ocean and all the whales started singing, "we are family".

Eye Repair

A baby is born and after the initial examination, the doctor returns with some news. "Ma'am," says the doctor, " I'm sorry to tell you this but your son was born without any eyelids. But, it is an easy fix." He says, "After we've circumcised him, we can surgically recreate new eyelids with his foreskin."
"Oh dear" says the new mother "but won't that make him cock-eyed?" "Yes," replies the doctor, "but he'll have excellent foresight"

Little Johnny Answers.

The teacher was conducting a class in nutrition and asked the class to name four qualities of mother's milk.
Little Johnny pipes up and says, "I know teacher!  Number One: It's fresh.  Number Two: It's nutritious.  Number Three: It's served at just the right temperature.  And Number Four: It comes in a cool container!"