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The best jokes and joke writers!

Goodbye To Mother

A couple were going out for the evening. They'd got ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc. The taxi arrives and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in. They didn't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife went out to the taxi while the husband went upstairs to chase the cat out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explained to the taxi driver, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother." A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab, "Sorry I took so long", he said, "Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"

Likable

I finally found a woman like my mom. This woman acts like her, looks like her, and smells like her. I decided to take this woman home, and for some reason my father doesn't like her!

Italian Boy Grow Mustache

Q: Why did the Italian boy want to grow a mustache?
A: So he could look like his mama.

Name Change

When I was growing up my parents used to tell me that I can be anyone I wanted. 

Now the police call that Identity theft.

Young Baseball Player

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. "So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?" Again the little boy nodded. "Good," said the coach, "now go over there and explain it to your mother."