Jokes about Families - Mother Jokes

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. "So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?" Again the little boy nodded. "Good," said the coach, "now go over there and explain it to your mother."

Two cannibals, a father and son, are walking down the street, when they notice a hot girl passing by. The son says to the father, "Daddy, I'm hungry, let’s eat that girl that just passed by." The father replies, "I've got a better idea son, let’s take this one home and eat your mother instead!"

Baby Jim: Mommy, does God use our toilet?

Mom: No Jim, what made you ask?

Baby: Every morning, Daddy goes up to the toilet and says: "Oh God! Are you still in there!

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a drink. Suddenly, a man hollers at him, ''I screwed your mom last night!'' Disturbed, the man tries to ignore him. Again, he hears, ''Your mom was good in bed last night!'' Again, he tries to ignore it. The man is just about to speak again but the guy stops him and says, ''Dad, go home, you're drunk!''

My mother is a typical Jewish mother. Once she was on jury duty... They sent her home. She insisted SHE was guilty.