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The best jokes and joke writers!

Polack With Chainsaw

A Polack is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his back yard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws. The dealer tells him, "Look, I have a lot of models, but why don't you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line model. This chainsaw will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in one day." So the Polack takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees. After cutting for several hours and only cutting two cords, he decides to quit. He thinks there is something wrong with the chainsaw. "How can I cut for hours and only cut two cords?", the Polack asks himself.  "I will begin first thing in the morning and cut all day", the Polack tells himself. So, the next morning the Polack gets up at 4 in the morning and cuts, and cuts, and cuts till nightfall, and he only manages to cut five cords. The Polack is convinced this is a bad saw.  "The dealer told me it would cut one hundred cords of wood in a day, no problem.  I will take this saw back to the dealer", the Polack says to himself. The very next day the Polack brings the saw back to the dealer and explains the problem. The dealer, baffled by the Polack's claim, removes the chainsaw from the case. The dealer says, "Huh, it looks fine." Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which the Polack responds, "What's that noise?"

Polish Girl Does Tradein

Did you hear about the Polish girl who tried to trade her menstrual cycle in on a Honda?

Polish Pickup Truck

Did you hear about the terrible automobile accident last night? A polish family on vacation lost all of their children. The pickup truck they were riding in ran off the road into a lake and sank to the bottom. The parents got out of the cab OK but all the kids in the back drowned, they couldn't get the tailgate open

Scandinavia Warning

Q: Why is wintertime love making in Scandinavia dangerous?

A: Your tongue might get stuck to a Pole.

Polish People Milking a Cow

Q: How many polish people does it take to milk a cow?

A: 9, four to hold the legs, four to hold the udders, and one to tell them when to move the cow up and down.