Boston Taxi Driver
A Boston taxi driver backed into a stationary fruit stall and within seconds he had a cop beside him. "Name?" asked the cop.
"Brendan O'Connor," the taxi driver replies.
"Wow, that's the same as mine. Where are you from?" asked the cop.
"Wow, same as me......", the policeman says as he paused with his pen in the air. "Hold on a moment and I'll come back and talk about the old county. I need to talk to this fella that ran into the back of your cab!"
The Irish Driver
An Irishman who had a little to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over... "So," says the cop to the driver, "where have you been?" "Why, I've been to the pub of course" slurs the drunk. "Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening." "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile. "Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?" "Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf!"
Recently, Germany conducted some scientific exploration involving their best scientists. Core drilling samples of earth were taken to a depth of 50 meters and during the core examinations, small pieces of copper were discovered. After running many arduous tests on these samples, the German government announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network.
Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. So they ordered their own scientists to take their core samples at a depth of 100 meters. From these samples, they found small pieces of glass and soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide optical fiber network.
Irish scientists were outraged. So immediately after this announcement, they ordered their scientist to take samples at a depth of 200 meters but found absolutely nothing. They concluded that the ancient Irish 55,000 years ago were an even more advanced civilization, as they already had a mobile telephone network in place.
Q: Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A: A different bar.
Finnegin's Wife Stays Up
Finnegin says, "My wife has a terrible habit of staying up 'til two o'clock in the morning. I can't break her out of it."
"What on earth is she doin' at that time?" replied Keenan.
"Waitin' for me to come home!"