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The best jokes and joke writers!

Iraqi vs. American

Iraqi vs. American

Average Iraqi Has visited the convergence of the Tigris and Euphrates, cradle of the ancient civilization founded by his ancestors.

Average American Once got really sick on the Wild Mouse ride at Six Flags theme park.

Average Iraqi Willing to participate in Holy War for his nation.

Average American Willing to participate in People's Choice Awards.

Average Iraqi Lines up by the thousands to die for country.

Average American Will go to any extreme to avoid jury duty.

Average Iraqi Has endured many food shortages during wars with Iran and embargo by West.

Average American Shoves McDonalds cashier if their Happy Meal doesn't include McCookies.

Average Iraqi Believes if he dies in battle, he will go straight to Paradise.

Average American Believes if, in a dream, you don't wake up before hitting the ground, you die.

Average Iraqi Has friend or relative wounded in ruthless wars of conquest.

Average American Has beer guzzling uncle who shot self in foot on hunting trip.

Average Iraqi Thinks Saddam Hussein is a political genius.

Average American Thinks Saddam Hussein makes Dan Quayle seem like Einstein.

It gets lonely in the desert

Airport immigration:

NAME? Muhammed al Facid

SEX? Yes 3 times a week.

NO, I MEAN FEMALE OR MALE? Oh that doesn't matter to me, sometimes I even do it with camels.

Driver's Ed Sex Ed

Q: Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Iraq?

A: They don't want to wear out the camel.

Gulf War Remembered!

Q: What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common?

A: Nothing, yet.

 

Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving?

A: Turkey.

 

Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common?

A: They both have Kurds in their Whey.

 

Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common?

A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from!

 

Q: What is the best Iraqi job?

A: Foreign Ambassador

 

Q: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. They can't turn them on anyway.

 

Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Only one, but he does it from 30 miles away using laser targeting, and at a cost of US $8,000,000.

 

Q: "How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

A: "We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time."

 

Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?

A: You only have to teach them to take off.

 

Q: How do you play Iraqi bingo ?

A: B-52... F-16... A-10

 

Q: What is Iraq's national bird?

A: Duck

 

Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot and the Scud Missile?

A: Aeroflot has killed more people.

 

Q: How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone?

A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.

 

Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats?

A: So they can see their Air Force.

 

Q: Did you hear that Saddam Hussein won the toss?

A: He elected to receive.

 

Q: Why do all Iraqi soldiers carry a piece of sandpaper?

A: They need a map...

 

An Iraqi and A Dog

Q: What do you get when you cross an Iraqi and a dog?

A: An Iraqi.