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The best jokes and joke writers!

Chicken Cross the Road Jokes

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To show the armadillo that it was possible.

 

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To get away from Colonel Sanders!

 

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road twice?

A: Because it was a double-crosser.

 

Q: Why did the Iraqi chicken cross the road?

A: To take over the other side.

 

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?

A: To get to the other slide.

 

Q: Why did the chicken cross the beach?

A: To get to the other tide.

 

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

A: Chickens hadn't evolved yet.

It gets lonely in the desert

Airport immigration:

NAME? Muhammed al Facid

SEX? Yes 3 times a week.

NO, I MEAN FEMALE OR MALE? Oh that doesn't matter to me, sometimes I even do it with camels.

Gulf War Remembered!

Q: What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common?

A: Nothing, yet.

 

Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving?

A: Turkey.

 

Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common?

A: They both have Kurds in their Whey.

 

Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common?

A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from!

 

Q: What is the best Iraqi job?

A: Foreign Ambassador

 

Q: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. They can't turn them on anyway.

 

Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Only one, but he does it from 30 miles away using laser targeting, and at a cost of US $8,000,000.

 

Q: "How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

A: "We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time."

 

Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?

A: You only have to teach them to take off.

 

Q: How do you play Iraqi bingo ?

A: B-52... F-16... A-10

 

Q: What is Iraq's national bird?

A: Duck

 

Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot and the Scud Missile?

A: Aeroflot has killed more people.

 

Q: How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone?

A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.

 

Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats?

A: So they can see their Air Force.

 

Q: Did you hear that Saddam Hussein won the toss?

A: He elected to receive.

 

Q: Why do all Iraqi soldiers carry a piece of sandpaper?

A: They need a map...

 

An Iraqi and A Dog

Q: What do you get when you cross an Iraqi and a dog?

A: An Iraqi.

Our Next Targets

Now that Uday & Qusay have been eliminated, a lot of the lesser-known Hussein family members are coming to the attention of American authorities.

Among the brothers:------------------
Sooflay .......................the restauranteur
Guday......................... the half-Australian brother
Huray......................... the sports fanatic
Bejay..........................the gay brother
Kuntay & Kintay................the twins from the African mother
Sayhay.........................the baseball player
Ojay...........................the stalker / murderer
Gulay..........................the singer / entertainer
Ebay...........................the internet czar
Biliray........................the country music star
Ecksray........................the radiologist
Puray..........................the blender factory owner
Tupay..........................the one with bad hair

Among the sisters:-----------------
Pusay..........................the 'loose' 22 yr old
Lattay.........................the coffee shop owner
Bufay..........................the 300 pound sister
Dushay.........................the clean sister
Phayray........................the zoo worker in the gorilla house
Sapheway.......................the grocery store owner:
Ollay..........................the half-mexican sister
Gudlay.........................the prostitute

More will, no doubt, be discovered...including A.A. Sidday, Oz weekend TV Host.