Q: Which skeleton wears a kilt?
A: Boney Prince Charlie!
Q: What is easier to fill a dump truck up with.. dead babies or bowling balls?
A: Dead babies.. because you can use a pitchfork.
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"
The Big Jump
Q: OK, there's a smart blonde, a brunette, and Santa Claus on top of the Empire State Building. If they all jump off at the same time, who will hit the ground first?
A: The brunette, because the other two don't exist!
Graveyard Hair Salon
Q: What was the name of the hair salon next to the graveyard?
A: "Curl Up and Dye."