Bar Jokes - Drunk Jokes

Murphy's Bar

A Scotsman, American, and an Irishman are in a bar.  They're having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place.
Then the Scotsman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Glasgow, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy two drinks and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!"
The others agree that sounds like a good place.
Then the American says, "Yeah, that's a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. Over in Brooklyn, there's this place, Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy another drink, Vinny buys you another drink."
Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar.
Then the Irishman says, "You think that's great? Where I come from in Dublin, there's this place called Murphy's. At Murphy's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!"
"Wow!" say the other two. "That's fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?"
"No," replies the Irish guy, "but it happened to me sister!"

Categories: Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Sexist Jokes (About Women) , Sex Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Charged by the Police

Two guys were walking along a road in Georgia when they were struck by a police car driven by a drunken cop. One guy was thrown through the windshield and his buddy was knocked down an embankment. The first guy was charged with breaking and entering and the second with leaving the scene of an accident. 

Categories: Profession Jokes (Police Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , U.S. State Jokes (Georgia Jokes) , Travel Jokes (Car Trip Jokes)
Anonymous

Taking the Ferry Home

John Smith lived in Staten Island, New York and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferry and found that there was a wait for the next boat, so John decided to stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he was feeling no pain.  When he got back to the ferry slip, the ferryboat was just eight feet from the dock. Smith, afraid of missing this one and being late for dinner, took a running leap and landed right on the deck of the boat.  "How did you like that jump, Buddy?" said a proud John to a deck hand.  "It was great," said the sailor. "But why didn't you wait? We were just pulling in!"

Categories: Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , U.S. State Jokes (New York Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous