Bar Jokes - Drunk Jokes

Out Of Town.

Outraged wife: Couldn't you think of anything better than coming home drunk like this?
Husband: Yes, but she was out of town!

Categories: Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

The Ballerina

A good looking woman walks into a bar wearing a tube top. She raises her hand to signal the bartender for a beer, revealing that she does not shave her armpits. Meanwhile, a sloppy drunk on the other side of the bar signals the bartender, "Buy that ballerina over there a drink on me." The bartender replies, "What makes you think she's a ballerina?" "Because," answers the drunken man, "any chick that can lift her leg that high has GOT to be a ballerina."

Categories: Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Word Play Jokes , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes)
Anonymous

Ancient Irishman

Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Shamus, were stumbling home from the pub late on St. Patrick's day and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard. "Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "it's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87." "That's nothing", says Sean, "here's one named Patrick O'Tool, it says here that he was 95 when he died."Just then, Shamus yells out, "Good God, here's a fella that got to be 145 years old!" "What was his name?" asks Paddy. Shamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles, from Dublin."

Categories: Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous