Yo Mama - Drunk Driving
Yo' Mama is so stupid, when she was pulled over for drunk driving and asked to walk a line, she said, "Which one?"
Blonde - Doctor Visit
"I can't find a cause for your illness," the doctor said. "Frankly, I think it's due to drinking." "In that case," replied his blonde patient, "I'll come back when you're sober."
A woman walks up to an obnoxious drunk at a bar and tells him, "If you were my husband, I'd poison your drink." The man replies, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
Happy and on the way home from the Halloween party, I said to myself, “Don, everything is coming your way!”
Just then I realized that I was in the wrong lane.
Men And Pigs
Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.