Bar Jokes

Boy Born With a Head

A boy is born without a body, only a head. For his 18th birthday his father, takes him to a bar for a drink. The father orders his son a scotch and when the boy drinks it, an arm pops out of his head. He drinks another shot and another arm pops out. After the next shot a torso pops out. After more shots, suddenly, he has a whole body. The boy runs out of the bar and gets hit by a truck, killing him instantly. A drunkard in the corner looks at the father and says, "He should have quit while he was a head."

Categories: Appearance Jokes , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Word Play Jokes , Jokes about Families (Son Jokes)
Anonymous

Engineer in a Bar

There was a mine in a small town that completely collapsed. One of the engineers who miraculously survived the disaster went into the local watering hole. The bar was empty except for one lonely soul at the other end of the bar.
"Hey bartender," said the Engineer, "I'll have a beer and pour another one for my friend down at the end there."
The bartender responded, "I'm sorry, sir, but that guy's a commie and we don't serve his kind around here."
"Well, you'd better because if it weren't for that guy, I wouldn't be here. You remember that mine that caved in, well I was in that mine and so was that guy. When the last of us were escaping, he held the roof of the mine up with his head! So get him a beer and if you don't believe me, look at the top of his head and you'll see that it's flat from holding the roof up."
The bartender skeptically served the commie his beer and then came back to talk to the Engineer: "I saw the flat spot on his head but I also couldn't help noticing the bruising under his chin. What is that all about?" the Engineer responded, "Oh... that's where we put the jack."

Categories: Profession Jokes (Engineer Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes , Bar Jokes (Walks Into a Bar) , Bar Jokes , Alcohol Jokes (Beer Jokes)
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Anonymous

Motorist Stopped By Police

Q: A policeman stops a motorist and asks, "Excuse me, sir, have you been drinking?"
A: The motorist says, "Why -- do I got an ugly girl next to me?"

Categories: Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Police Jokes) , Appearance Jokes (Ugly Jokes) , Riddles
Anonymous