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The best jokes and joke writers!

Heavy Metal Fans to Change Lightbulb

Q: How many heavy metal fans does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Three. One to change it and two to say "Excelleeeeeent !"

Roxanne Needs Help

Been drawing circles around pictures of Sting, Stewart Copeland and Andy Summers for a woman across the street who has just had her home burglarized. 

No idea how asking me to ring The Police is going to help her.

Pink Floyd to Heaven

The three remaining members of Pink Floyd get in a car wreck and all three die. They are standing in front of the Pearly Gates when St. Peter comes up and says, ''Oh, Hi guys! We've been expecting you. Your really going to love it here, this is a great place and did you know that we even have our own band? We have Elvis Presley singing, Hendrix is playing guitar, Sinatra is on piano and Roger Waters, your old bandmate, is writing lyrics for us!'' David Gilmour replies, ''Roger is here? When did he die?''
St. Peter leans over and whispers in his ear. ''It's really God, but he thinks he's Roger Waters!''

Hip Hop Blues

It was a bit embarrassing standing in front of a large crowd with my sticky tape and gift paper

I thought I'd been challenged to a wrap battle

French Horn Jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross a French horn player with a goal post?

A: A goal post that can't march.

Q: How many French horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Just one, but he'll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and leaks.

Q: What do you get when you cross a French Horn player and a goalpost?

A: A goalpost that can't march.

Q: How do you make a trombone sound like a French horn?

A: Put your hand in the bell and miss a lot of notes.

Q: How do horn players traditionally greet each other?

A: "Hi. I did that piece in junior high."

Q: How do you get your viola section to sound like the horn section?

A: Have them miss every other note.

Q: What is the difference between a french horn section and a '57 Chevy?

A: You can tune a '57 Chevy.