Play it Again
Irony is cutting your finger at Bob Geldof's house, and he doesn't have a band aid.
A glass container washed up on the beach. Inside was a voucher for a free back rub.
Massage in a bottle.
Out Of Tune
Q: How can you tell if a bagpipe is out of tune?
A: Someone is blowing into it.
Clarinet and Onion
Q: What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?
A: Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces.
Q: What do you call a bass-clarinetist with half a brain?