Loud Clarinet?

Q: How do know a clarinet player is playing loud?
A: You can almost hear them.

Alto Clarinet

Q: What's the definition of a nerd?
A: Someone who has his or her own alto clarinet.

Where are We?

Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital in Carnegie Hall. In the middle of the music, Kriesler got lost and turned around to ask Rachmaninov, "Where are we?"
Rachmaninov said, "Carnegie Hall, sir!"