My girlfriend's dog died the other day so I surprised her by going out and getting her an identical dog.
She was furious, she said, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
Yesterday was international women's equality day and international dog day.
What a great day for bitches.
Q: What do you call a dog that's also a magician?
A: A labracadabrador !
Old Indian Trick
Q: How do you find your dog if he's lost in the woods?
A: Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark.
Problem with a dog
Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle.
Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog can't even ride a bicycle.