We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Getting Better

Patient: Please tell me, doctor, am I getting better?

Doctor: I think so. But to be sure, let me feel your wallet...

Doctor Doctor Collection

  • Patient: Doctor, Doctor I’ve lost my memory!
    Doctor: When did this happen?
    Patient: When did what happen?
  • Patient: Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a rubber band
    Doctor: Why don't you stretch yourself out on the couch there and tell me all about it!
  • Doctor, Doctor everyone thinks I'm a liar I can't believe that!
  • Doctor, Doctor I need something to keep my falling hair in, what about a matchbox?
  • Patient: Doctor, Doctor I keep seeing double.
    Doctor: Please sit on the couch.
    Patient: Which one?
  • Patient: Doctor, Doctor I keep seeing an insect spinning around.
    Doctor: Don't worry, it's just a bug that's going around!
  • Patient: Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a moth.. Get out of the way, your in my light!

Can't Remember

Patient: Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.

Doctor: When did you first notice this problem?

Patient: What problem?

What's Up Doc?

Just as a surgeon was finishing up an operation and was about to close, the patient awakes, sits up, and demands to know what is going on. "I'm about to close,"  the surgeon says. The patient grabs the surgeon's hand and says, "I'm not going to let you do that! I'll close my own incision!" The doctor hands him the thread and says, "Go ahead... Suture self"!

Chiro Tunes

Q: What kind of music do chiropractors listen to?

A: Hip-Pop