Profession Jokes - Other Doctor Jokes

Patient: Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.

Doctor: When did you first notice this problem?

Patient: What problem?

Just as a surgeon was finishing up an operation and was about to close, the patient awakes, sits up, and demands to know what is going on. "I'm about to close,"  the surgeon says. The patient grabs the surgeon's hand and says, "I'm not going to let you do that! I'll close my own incision!" The doctor hands him the thread and says, "Go ahead... Suture self"!

Q: What kind of music do chiropractors listen to?

A: Hip-Pop

A woman was going to marry one of those guys that wanted a virgin. Since she was not, she went to a doctor to reconstruct her hymen.The doctor told her it would cost around $500, but there was another way that would cost only $50.The woman agreed to try the cheap way, paid the money, and the doctor worked on her for several minutes. After the "first night" of intimacy, the woman came back to the doctor and told him that it was perfect. The pain, the blood,everything was there. And she asked him how he did it."Simple...I tied your pubic hairs together!"

Four nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for, whom they all felt was an arrogant jerk. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor. The first nurse said, "I stuffed cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn't hear. "The second nurse said, "I let the mercury out of his thermometers and painted them all to read 106 degrees. "The third nurse said, "Well, I did worse than that. I poked holes in all of the condoms that he keeps in his desk drawer. "The fourth nurse fainted.